On to The Next

I was desperate for graduation. Eager to be done with my primary and secondary education. After a couple years there, I was also desperate to graduate from college. Unfortunately I didn't enjoy either graduation. Neither gave me much satisfaction. I wasn't particularly cheerful those days.

The finish line was all that mattered and with that focus, by only caring about the trophy, I missed out on so many of the benefits of embracing the journey. Though with school, it was always about the outcomes and not the process for me. I'm just here to get the A, to get the diploma/degree. 

Now, I have to be very intentional about enjoying the process. I have to try to give myself a break and actually try to feel pride for the things I've accomplished. Otherwise, I move from one finish line and start racing for the other. The way my anxiety works is, I don't inherently know how to relax. Without intervention,  I look for the next thing to stress me out a bit. I don't know how to handle not having anything pressing to do, even if in the back of my mind.

Always preparing for the next thing. Never quite reaching a finish line.

Barbershop Blues

Hulk Smash