Release Your Inhibition.

I don’t drink alcohol, done.


Unfortunately I am rarely able to say that and that be it. At first it was about how I wasn’t supposed to because I was underaged. But of course peers gonna pressure. Depending on the circle I was in I could get away with “I just don’t want to.” In college the story was about how unappealing and annoying I found drunk people and how I don’t want to be like (smell like) them. “But you can drink and not get drunk”, they say. Cute but no one was drinking and not getting drunk in college. Below the age of 23/24, everyone was going for debauchery.

The conversations would become about how it would be fun to see me drunk. Everyone wondered what kind of drunk I’d be. Imagine the reckless things I would say! Would I become a level 10 sap?

I’d joke, "I promise that’s not a version of me you want to see." (that truth remains so)

Annoying how everyone so passionately wanted you to drink but for no good reason. “Just try it!” It seemed like red flags to me. You know all those old commercials trying to discourage teens from drinking and smoking. It felt like those commercials. I always wanted to tell people to grow up or how corny they were being. People lauded something that I only ever saw negative consequences of, not the reason for the hype. It was almost for their own entertainment. It felt cult like. The poor unfortunate souls scene from little mermaid. The poison poppies scene from The Wiz.

Ha! I once told someone I had a genetic “thing” and my kidneys aren’t able to process alcohol without me being in severe pain or potentially getting sick. “is it because you’re religious?” “are you an alcoholic?” no & no. though there's a good chance that I could/would be. Story time. When I was in Spain, we went on two museum visits that involved wine tastings. I didn’t drink but I did whiff. It smelled amazing. I damn near snorted it.

I don't drink because I have bipolar disorder. Though I didn’t always know specifically about that diagnosis, I did always know that things could permanently derail for me if I ever indulged and became too uninhibited. Intuition is funny like that.

I think my ice cream habits are safer-ish.

So You Can Make Arrangements

Suicidezilla (like bridezilla but for suicide. get it?)