Captain's Log

Med Adjustment

It’s April 23, 2018. I ran out of refills and it’s been many months since I’ve seen my provider so I had to go in for a check up. I also wanted to bring up some troubles that have started to pop back up. Conclusion: She thinks my meds need to be adjusted, my dosage increased. Wow. I’m one of those... It’s official official. I’m a “did you take your meds?” “are you off your meds?” “we need to check your dosage” person. Wow.

It’s May 22, 2018. The meds have been kind of working, kind of not. They aren’t addressing all the issues. She wants to add another med. Great. Fuck all this.

This Isn’t Working

It’s September 24, 2018. Time for a check in. The bad symptoms are back. It’s as if I’m not taking anything really. I had a difficult time picking up and filling prescriptions (pharmacy-doctor communications and other stuff) which caused a lapse in me taking anything. I got back on one easy. The second I couldn’t afford. The replacement I never started because fuck all this. Tired of spending money on shit that doesn’t work well for long.

Let’s Try Again

It’s January 21, 2019. Things have not been okay. I should probably get in with someone soon. Start this process back up now, while things are manageable, before it gets dire. New insurance provider this year and looking for some new help. Due to much experience in this, I know what I’m looking for. Makes the process easier. Because this is preventative and proactive I’m able to have much more patience and put less pressure on it all. I predict that I won’t be able to be seen for another 4-5 weeks. I was right. It’s cool though.

It’s February 9, 2019. I recently realized I absolutely have not gotten over my struggle with anxiety. It’s just evolved. I heard from a friend they’ve had great results using CBD oil. I’m going to try it because I need some kind of help and I’ve never given this holistic herbal stuff a fair shot. It’s pricey. I think it works but maybe not.

It’s March 4, 2019. I think this new stuff the psych gave me is working. It’s only been a couple weeks though. We’ll see how this does long term. I’m hopeful. I should probably go ahead and schedule a time to go talk to someone though. I can’t solve all my problems on my own.

And Now

It’s April 1, 2019. I’ve now started with a new psychiatrist and psychologist. Seems I’ve taken the right preemptive measures. Maybe I’m not screwed. Maybe things will be okay. We’ll see…

Sometimes I Forget